How does EFT couples therapy help to fix the negative interaction patterns in your romantic relationships?

Emotionally Focused Therapy helps couples break free from negative interaction patterns. Here's how it works — and why understanding attachment bonds and the negative cycle can transform your relationship.

What is EFT Couples Counseling?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a type of couples counseling that aims to improve the emotional bond between partners. EFT is based on the premise that negative patterns of interaction in a relationship arise from the fear of disconnection from one's partner. EFT therapists work with couples to identify the underlying emotional needs and vulnerabilities that drive these patterns, and to create new, positive patterns of interaction that foster emotional safety, security and intimacy. EFT focuses on creating a secure attachment bond between partners, which can lead to greater relationship satisfaction, better communication, and increased resilience in the face of life's challenges.

What is an Attachment Bond?

An attachment bond is a bond we have with another person. We usually seek these bonds in romantic relationships, as a way to live life with another person and meet each other's emotional needs. It is human nature to desire a connection with another person, and it is something we need to survive. These attachments are so important to us, that if our needs are unmet, that is when conflict begins to arise in a relationship.

What is the Negative Cycle?

The Negative Cycle is the pattern of interaction that leads to a disconnection and conflict between partners. The cycle can emerge due to attachment bonds not working, and emotional needs going unmet. The cycle can involve many patterns, including withdrawing, becoming critical, blaming your partner, and so on. This cycle can cause a lot of conflict in relationships, and may be why many couples seek help.

How can understanding these things help you in EFT Couples Counseling?

A big part of EFT couples therapy is noticing and acknowledging the negative cycle. The goal is to interrupt this cycle, and help each partner express their underlying emotional needs and vulnerabilities in a productive and safe way. By being able to understand this negative cycle and working to change it, couples can develop a stronger emotional bond and a more secure, positive pattern of interaction. Want to learn more? Read about Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or explore our couples therapy services.